Today, I just don’t want to be mom…
I know you’ve had those days. Days where you work so hard and come home exhausted only to find that when you arrive home your own kids have gone INSANE! (If you don’t have kids, or have no experience with them, I’ll clue you in on a very important fact: kids behave differently with their mom. Well, today, like some other days, I just didn’t want to be mom.)
Kids behave differently with their mom.
So, I just don’t want to be mom.
Let’s get something straight before we go any further – I LOVE my girls. They are my world…although that leads me down another quick tangent.
Quick tangent – why kids shouldn’t be the center of your world:
I had a conversation with a lower elementary school teacher recently who is struggling with the kids in her class. She says that she finds it very hard to help all of the students at the same time. Well, of course! However, here’s the true meaning: each child is treated as the center of the world as home. That, in itself, is not necessarily the problem. The problem lies in the fact that when they are put in a classroom of children that also feel they are the center of the world, utter chaos ensues! And, each child’s needs cannot be met as they are at home.
Alas, we come back around. I have struggled with this since my oldest was born. You see, my girls have been the center of my world. But, that can’t be bad, you say. Well, I’ve come to realize it is! Naturally, developmentally, young children through elementary school believe they are the center of the world and that everything revolves around them. If they also have adults making them feel this way, it will take longer for them to come to the realization that the world, in fact, does not revolve around them.
How does this relate to those days when I don’t want to be mom?
You see, if you are constantly putting your kids in the center of your world, you’re leaving yourself out. And, if mom ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!
In the past three plus years, I’ve made my girls idols. No, I don’t idolize them, but I’ve put them before other things that also make me happy. And, I’ve noticed that when I don’t take time for myself, doing things that I enjoy, I come home to my girls and I just don’t want to be mom. And, I’m just now starting to understand that if I don’t take care of me, I can’t take care of them. Something I always seem to forget is that I must take care of myself mentally, emotionally, and physically.
When my mind has accomplished something, when I am happy, and when my body feels fit; I am the best mom!
So, you see, it’s all related. When I get time to be me, away from my girls (and sometimes my husband, hehe), I get recharged. I don’t just feel like mom, I feel like me. Those times away give me the strength to come back and be the best mom I can be!
I guess it is true, absence makes the heart grow fonder!
The final battle I face is that inner guilt when I am doing something for myself. And, you know what? I don’t feel guilty of my own accord! I feel guilty because I feel like other moms (society, really) are judging me. I know because I’ve been on the judging side. It’s not until recently that I’ve really started to reflect on myself that I understand.
One of the biggest problems in motherhood is the idea that we have to live up to everyone else’s standards; when really, we need to do what’s best for ourselves and our own families. And, that looks different for everyone.
So, momma, how will you shake those expectations? I’m working on it by ALWAYS remembering that quality is better than quantity. Quality time with my daughters, where I am an amazing mom, is much better than a lot of time where I am angry and upset with them.
Your Challenge: Drop a comment below on how you’re going to be a better mom, while still maintaining a sense of yourself.
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